支招小作文(88) | 线图 上下两张图
* 线图,选自《剑桥雅思真题集14》
Introduction
Shown in the first graph are the changes of ownership of three electrical appliances, and the second graph depicts the number of hours spent doing housework chores. The statistics are about an anonymous country and the period of 1920 to 2019. * 把地点和时间拆出来,单独写一句,避免上一句带地点、带时间,太繁琐。 Overall, those electrical appliances were becoming increasingly common, and doing housework cost less and less time. * 不是机械陈述数值,而是去写数据体现出来的事实。
Body
First, despite a slight decrease between 1960 and 1980, the ownership of washing machine increased by over 30% and to over 70% in 2019. Second, in 1920, 30% of the country’s households owned a vacuum clear. Afterwards, this appliance was becoming increasingly common at a steady pace, and its ownership exceeded that of washing machine after 1960 and had reached by 2000. The case of refrigerators was special. The refrigerator was extremely rare in 1920, and the subsequent 40 years witnessed a surge to 90% in its ownership. In 1980, every household in that country owned a refrigerator, and it was the first appliance that is owned by all households in that country. In addition, with the three appliances becoming increasingly common, people spent only 20 hours doing housework in 1960 and 10 hours in 2019, compared with 50 hours in 1920.
*解析
* 第1句:陈述关于洗衣机的情况。因为情况简单,所以仅仅一句。
First, despite a slight decrease between 1960 and 1980, the ownership of washing machine increased by over 30% and to over 70% in 2019.
注意:状语里被省略的逻辑主语应与主句主语一致。同时,主语与动词也应逻辑一致。
* 第2、3句:陈述关于吸尘器的情况。因为情况略有特点,所以用了略长的篇幅。
Second, in 1920, 30% of the country’s households owned a vacuum clear. Afterwards, this appliance was becoming increasingly common at a steady pace, and its ownership exceeded that of washing machine after 1960 and had reached by 2000.
* 第4、5、6句:陈述关于电冰箱的情况。因为情况很有特点,所以用了更长的篇幅。
The case of refrigerators was special. The refrigerator was extremely rare in 1920, and the subsequent 40 years witnessed a surge to 90% in its ownership. In 1980, every household in that country owned a refrigerator, and it was the first appliance that is owned by all households in that country.
注意:
1)在写特殊的东西之前,可以写一个短句,调整一下信息的节奏。并且,形成“总—分”结构。
2)电冰箱的这一部分里,多处出现并非机械陈述数值,而是写出数据体现出来的事实。
* 第7句:陈述关于做家务杂事用时减少的情况。仅仅一句,所以没有单独写成一个段落。
In addition, with the three appliances becoming increasingly common, people spent only 20 hours doing housework in 1960 and 10 hours in 2019, compared with 50 hours in 1920.
注意:用compared with描述两种情况之间(而非同一个主语做的两件事情)的比较时,不存在逻辑主语一致。
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